Pare koy

Pare koy musta,

Look at this...

Our clan will be having a family reunion next week. Until now, we still don’t have a concrete plan for our activities. Everything is all set for the food and venue, but our main problem now is what we are going to do for the rest of the day aside from eating. Of course we want it to be memorable since that it’s very rare for us to have a family gathering. I’m thinking of putting up parlor games but I don’t think everyone will enjoy and participate. I hope you could give me some ideas on how to maximize our time together and make it more meaningful for each and everyone of us.

Regards

Jun

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Ok Pare,

When deciding on the activities for the family reunion, kindly remember that the main reason for a reunion is to spend time with as many family members as is humanly possible, both mentally and physically.  Plan activities that achieve this goal by having family members do things together, but make sure you don’t plan so many activities that nobody gets a chance to just sit around on their duffs and visit for a while.  And finally, try to select activities where a large number of people can participate at the same time so that you can avoid splintering out into small groups of close-knit friends.  You want activities where people will need to talk to each other. 

First is you can set up a craft table. Provide the supplies and let the kid’s creativity keep them busy.  Set up a table outside and cover it with butcher paper.  Then set out construction paper, scissors (round tip), glue, water soluble paint and paint brushes, markers, and other arts and crafts supplies.  You can even put out some newspapers and paper mache.

Another thing that you can do is to create an attractive display of old photographs and family paraphernalia.  Ask everyone to bring something to display.  Set aside a table for "missing persons" – pictures of ancestors whom you can’t identify.   Maybe someone else will recognize them.  Mister Spiffy recalls a reunion where just that happened.  You might get lucky.

Family reunion is the perfect place to use that camera.  Where else could you possibly get a photograph of four or five generations of a family all together at one time?  Groups that you may like to photograph include: grandma and grandpa with their grown-up children, all the young cousins or all the older cousins.   Make sure that after you get the pictures developed, you write down who each person in the photo is, so that twenty years from now people aren’t asking, "Who was that"? 

You would probably be surprised at the talents of your various family members.  Put on a talent show at your reunion.  Make sure you tell everyone about this in the invitation or information packet, in case they need to bring something with them (like their violin, juggling balls, or blowtorch).  Print up certificates or awards for the various categories.

-efg

Dear Kuya Eugene

Dear Kuya Eugene

Everybody is dreaming of building his own house. And for me and my husband, that’s our ultimate goal. He’s working as a seafarer for a couple of years and I think we have saved enough to start building our dream house. We have three kids and we’re planning to build a house enough for our family to move around. But Kuya, I honestly don’t know where to begin with. All I have with me now is the plan of having a 2-storey house with 3 bedrooms, a spacious living room and an adequate kitchen, a garage for our car and a zen-inspired garden. I hope you can give me some words of advice on the do’s and don’ts. I need the steps and the process of building the house that we’re dreaming of. Thanks for your time.

Angelie

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Dear Angelie,

Who has never dreamed of building a home? Some dreamers really go to work. How much is the cost of building your own home? The more money you have, the better your chance to be able to build a detached house. Do not expect a palace if you have little to spend; less money also means more concessions to be made.

There are several ways to obtain a building plot. Maybe you have relatives who own a piece of land where you can build your dream-house? Otherwise you will have to buy a lot somewhere. Since for building a home, you are obliged to turn to an architect. He will translate ideas into drawings, but also he will check the actual condition of the lot. An architect can also help you to find construction companies or contractors. All architects, a noble profession, have their own fee. Do you go directly to the cheapest or also look very critically at the reputation of the architect? Prefer a slightly more expensive one than an architect you do not trust. It does not make much sense to an architect who specializes in modern buildings to design a traditional Filipino home. Therefore search on the Internet and library for examples of architectural styles.

Make an inventory. Sort your stuff and see if it is really critical that everything in your room is there. You really need all those boxes of books? In the first instance put only the stuff that you use daily or weekly. Rubbish you can always pick up later, if you have space. Make a list of stuff that you still need. A minimum inventory consists of a bed, a desk and a cabinet. Everything else that fits in your room is a bonus. Ideal furniture does not have to be solid and make sure you can pass through or under it.

Buy practical and affordable furniture and other things. In one afternoon you can shop your whole room together from the blinds to a brush. You just want something special, or you have little money to spend for your room? Go to a second-hand-Market and retail outlets.

Just because there is no mandatory course about interior decoration, people learn with trial and error. What is more common that people do not feel completely at ease in their homes without knowing exactly why. Interior Architects say that you have to realize that at almost every point a choice can and should be made.

After the floor, it’s the walls and the ceiling's turn. The furniture, furnishing and lighting comes thereafter. Do not buy not a standing lamp with the idea that the color of the walls has to be the same. Lighting, although certainly not be underestimated, may be the last to be done. The light plan is much more flexible than for example the location of your furniture. If you decide to go past things like decorative objects and paintings on the wall.

Sometimes there is a conflict between what is good and what is practical. Obviously you are practical, but the attitude towards beautiful things is also a practical usefulness of housing. That can sometimes outweigh another small practical advantage of accessibility. The art of making your home attractive is the installation of atmosphere, without your personal taste that dominates. Bring therefore atmosphere in your home by making small adjustments. If you are in a modern, light home, then you get more by all unnecessary accessories right away. Look also at what you find enjoyable, and if the atmosphere that you want to create you prefer, you can convey much better.

And God’s grace prevails

Sometimes it is good to rest in the fact that it is ok to have seasons where we are broken. It is in this time that we can truly rest in the presence and glory of God himself.

It is ok to accept that our lives are imperfect. Sometimes in a rush to construct the perfect christian “ spiritual identity”, where we are all on top of things , we can forget what it is like to be a true child of God. Where we can rest at his feet empty and broken and can receive the full abundance of his perfection and love.

It is ok to lay still and cry “ abba father” to realise that it is not by our efforts but by God’s grace alone.

- not our desires but his desires, not our strength but by his strength. Not by our dreams and motivation, but letting him walk forward for me and determining my steps.

He came to earth in human form , not to construct a superhuman “ spiritual identity” for us to follow, but came to earth to die, to become broken in both spiritual and physical terms so that we could be redeemed.

A few Questions to think about…

* Why would someone so perfect come to earth to epitomise brokenness on the cross?

That is one of the great paradoxs’ of our lives and a secret that God himself can only unlock the mystery of. There is great power in brokenness.Elisabeth Elliot( Elliot:162) talks of the glory of autumn, there is great power when the trees lose their leaves. During the bleakness/ barrenness of winter time, there is much that God is doing behind the scenes.There is “ no ongoing spiritual life without letting go”.

There is a mysterious pinnacle that was achieved through the death of Christ, that God himself only knows the answer to.

I realise it is perfectly okay to lay “ heavily broken” to accept that we have no power except through God himself. God himself came down to earth to experience this brokenness, so it is fitting that we should share in this experience.

One of the greatest lies we can believe, is that we have to race to construct ourselves to become better. As we fall in love with God , he shapes and mould us into a glorious representation of him, but we should not be actively striving to become higher/ faster/stronger. God himself is our builder, developer and restorer. He loves a heart that is broken but hungry for him.

This place ... on your knees…

Is the place where human wisdom fails

and God’s grace prevails

When you give up and flail your hands in the air

and declare that God is Lord above all...